Hello from the other side
A brief note on grief, COVID-19, travel, and what happens before and after
It’s been a long time since I’ve shared anything on Mad Travels Alone. There are a few reasons for this. First, there was a pandemic. (Even typing “was” still feels strange, because even though the pandemic is technically over and no longer classified as a pandemic, the ripple-effect is still strong in my life.) Then, my mom was diagnosed with a rare, fast-moving cancer. After a quick year and a half, she died, and then I moved across the pond to start my master’s program in Fantasy Literature in Scotland.
SCOTLAND.
A place I’ve wanted to move to for so, so long. Yet, when the time finally came for me to do so, it happened in the most heartbreaking way possible. Consumed with grief, anxiety, depression, and hope, I started my master’s program, meeting two dozen other students enrolled in this course from all over the world with a shared interest in fantasy literature in this university that looks like a fantasy. In Glasgow, I did my solo travel in literature. I consumed myself with fantasy texts and television shows (hello, The Vampire Diaries) and balanced my harsh, cold, inner reality with the vibrant life outside that I had to face.
I didn’t think I’d experience joy again. I didn’t think I’d ever experience the desire, hope, and dream to travel, let alone travel solo, ever again. I wanted to pursue my program, make new friends, and figure out this new life…in Scotland. I was a short stone’s throw from other countries and cities but I wanted to stay rooted in my new safe space in my university, my program, my found family.
I graduated with an MLitt in Fantasy Literature from the University of Glasgow in 2023, and it all feels like a dream.
There is a lot more to this story including travel stories within Scotland and beyond that I hope to tell soon. (If you’re interested in the caregiving side of things, I have a substack for that: Millennial Caregivers.)
All of this to be said, I’ve been thinking about joy recently, and I think back to those times on my travels where I’ve worked through some deep grief, doubt, inner turmoil, and so much more on travels, bit and small, solo and otherwise.
Maybe it’s time to get back into the pensive writing of it all.
Maybe it’s time to get back into traveling.
Maybe it’s something I’ve been doing all along even when I didn’t think I was doing it.
Hello from the other side.
It’s nice to be back. x
